An interview with the Blogger - Part 1

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE BLOGGER!

1. What is your name?

Philip. It’s from the Greek meaning lover (phil…) of horses (ip…) so you can just call me Phil if you like? .

2. How do you find being married again?

It’s great! It’s pretty much as I expected really – there are many gates to walk through and some walls to climb over along the way but we are managing very well… Marriage is not fun or interesting unless there are hurdles and challenges to face.

3. What is your idea of a successful marriage?

People have this terrible habit of measuring the success of a marriage by the number of years it lasts. Of course it can be a good indicator of a successful marriage - silver, gold and diamond wedding anniversaries etc are very worthy celebrations. For me a successful marriage is one where the man and wife learn to bring the best out of each other and create between them a satisfying and contented union. Allow me to be controversial… I consider my first marriage of 13 years to be a successful marriage, my ex-wife and I remain friends, we brought into this world a wonderful son, as a family we had some very good times together, and we’ve grown up through many experiences in that marriage to make us both the characters that we are today. My ex-wife and I are contented people. Parental and financial responsibilities remain high priorities. I’m not promoting divorce by any means but when difficult situations arise there are means and ways of overcoming them and turning them around so that ultimately the new situation created is a success on all sides… I know it doesn’t always work out that way but I challenge people who are facing marriage difficulties or divorce to work hard at looking at the brighter side and to believe in themselves that they can make good things come out of the bad.

4. What is your idea of a perfect soul mate?

I’m not sure if I really believe in the concept of a perfect soul mate. My first serious girlfriend, in my university days believed the man she should marry should be her soul mate. She was all into ‘God’ and somehow came to the conclusion I wasn’t the man for her because we didn’t “connect”. Some singles seem to stay forever single all because they are somehow waiting for their ‘soul-mate’ to come along into their life. Whilst it helps to look for someone who has compatible personality traits I think people would do well to realise that some soul-mate qualities only arise after many years of committed close companionship. If you want a perfect soul-mate for a partner, I say, go to your partner or someone who is nearest to being your partner and work patiently at making that person your life’s soul-mate. Believe in that idea and you will certainly bear the fruits of that belief.

5. What makes you the person that you are now?

All the good and bad experiences I’ve been through have helped to make me the person I am today… and generally, I’m glad for them. I like the person I am today even if sometimes I have found myself wishing I had a personality that more naturally attracted others to me. Some of my own personal limitations have inhibited my self-confidence and self-belief but I have a positive and determined attitude and I do my utmost to have an open mind on all my life’s experiences.

6. Where do you see yourself in the next five years with regard to having a family?

My wife, Moon, and I hope to have two lovely children by then. I won’t deny that I hope that at least one of the two will be a girl but I’ll be quite honestly delighted whatever the sex. My parenting skills are in need of improving and adding more children will certainly present some more tough challenges. I like that and I look forward to the joy that having a family also brings. I hope my son Will can be involved in any new family additions too.

7. If you could change 5 things about you what would they be and why?

1. Well first of all I’d like to change my short temper because I can be such a bad-tempered git.

2. Apparently I’m a bit arrogant. Trouble is it’s difficult to see my own arrogance so I don’t know when I’m upsetting people.

3. I can be really insensitive too! I’ve called myself an English Gentleman before and it’s time I learned to live up to that name then I wouldn’t hurt people’s feelings so much.

4. If I could read quicker and remember more details then that’d be useful because I’d know a lot more than I do now (and I can be even more arrogant!).

5. If I wasn’t such a lazy sod and I didn’t procrastinate so often that’d help a lot too! I like being lazy but if I want to achieve more things then I have to change… maybe tomorrow, I’ll do something about it?

8. Do you love unconditionally?

No I don’t think I do. I’m not a saint you know! I do however try as far as is humanly possible to love unconditionally.

9. How important is God in your life?

In spite of my ‘born-again Christian’ past, today, I have no certainty of God’s existence so how can God be important in my life? I’m glad I am where I am today. Christianity taught me that you must believe in (or know) Jesus to have eternal life and that there’s only one chance to do this but I consider this to be the biggest lie of religion. I’m prepared to admit I might be completely wrong in my present conviction that you don’t need ‘faith’ to enter into heaven. Today, I live not really knowing if God exists or even if there is life beyond the one I have now, and I dare to be completely honest with myself in declaring that. I look upon life and the universe with great fascination and I have a great hunger for knowledge and understanding. I take every experience I have with value and I seek to learn from those experiences. This life is there for the taking… let’s make the most of it. That’s my basic philosophy.

- Today's picture: Me in Sapa, Vietnam.